See how to do EFT for a guide to the full process.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a fantastic tool for working with emotions and sensations. But it can be hard to get started and can feel like it’s not doing anything, so it’s easy to assume its just not for you. Here are some things I’ve learned that have helped EFT work for me:

Working with memories of past events

If, like me, EFT doesn’t work particularly well for you initially, consider using it on memories of challenging times that you’ve been avoiding thinking about. This was what unlocked it for me and helped me release a lot of trapped grief that I’d been carrying for decades without realising.

For example, lets say you have a memory of a moment of overwhelming anxiety. Holding this memory in mind, you might set up the acceptance statement along the lines of ‘even though I experienced this overwhelming anxiety, I accept myself’, and then continue tapping with the feelings that arise, such as ‘this overwhelming anxiety’, ‘I was so scared’, ‘I couldn’t cope’, ‘I feel so pathetic’, ‘I let myself down’.

Try not to judge what comes out. Our aim is to acknowledge and honour how we feel, whilst remembering that the story we have about our feelings is not necessarily true. In the above example, you may have been feeling like you were ‘pathetic’ and that you ‘let yourself down’, but that does not mean that you actually are pathetic (spoiler: you’re not).

It’s likely that you’ll have some grief around your experience of ME, which could be a good starting point. Some of that was too raw for me, because it’s still a living experience, so I started on some childhood experiences of panic and when I found an area of trapped emotion and started tapping on it, it often exploded out of me in a big rush.

Once I had some experience with the process and with letting myself experience emotions, I found that sometimes I’d start welling up from just the acceptance statement on its own, which is a sign that you’ve found a well of emotion that will benefit from being released.

The acceptance statement

You don’t need to believe the acceptance statement, you just need to say it. When I first started out, I found it very difficult to say that I accepted myself, because I didn’t. This was a powerful realisation in itself, and opened up a lot of emotion.

Automatic talking

When tapping and saying the issue statement, I like to practice automatic talking out loud, where I’m not planning what to say, I just let it come up naturally. It’s especially helpful with emotions because it starts to let my body have a chance to say what’s happening. Often as I do each EFT cycle, i’ll start to get down to different layers of what’s happening that I wasn’t aware of initially.

For example, I might start because I’m feeling sad, and as I cycle through I might end up saying “This feeling of sadness” “I’m struggling at the moment” “I’m just sick of being ill” “I’m scared and overwhelmed” “I feel like i’m being left behind” “I don’t want my life to be over”. This starts to give voice to other overlapping feelings. Emotions can be multi layered, often without us realising it, and we need to feel into each layer to get to the ones below.

How to tell if it’s having any effect

If it’s hard to see whether EFT is having any effect on you, I’d recommend beginning your practice by rating the intensity level of the emotion or sensation you’re working with out of ten, before you start the EFT itself. E.g. this anxiety is a 6 out of 10. This should just be a rough, instinctive number, it doesn’t need to be exact. Then measure again once you’ve finished and see if there’s been any shift, however small it may be.

Adapting EFT for low energy levels

If you have limited energy for physical movement, such as moving your hands or arms, here are some ways to adapt the process:

• Skip out a few of the tapping points (e.g. do 3-4 instead of all 8). Keep ones in the same area (e.g. around the face) and remove the rest, so your arm has less far to move.
• Reduce the number of taps (say 3-4 on each point, instead of 7-8)
• Prop your arms up before starting so they have less far to move
• Try pressing gently on the points instead of tapping.

If that's still too much physical movement, I'd recommend imagining tapping or pressing on the points instead of actually doing so with your hand. If imagining the tapping doesn't work for you, try bringing your attention to each point in turn.

You can do the whole cycle of tapping in your head in this way, whilst talking out loud, without needing to move, and it should still have the same effect.

Holding yourself with compassion

Dealing with these emotions can be overwhelming and exhausting, particularly if we have a lot of judgement around them. Try to bring in compassion to how you view yourself, in the same way you would treat a loved one who was going through what you’ve been through.

I find ending a big EFT session with a few rounds of tapping whilst focusing on self compassion can be very helpful. It builds our self compassion muscle and it’s also a form of aftercare if we’ve had a big emotional release.

Slow and steady

It took me a long time to get to grips with EFT, so be gentle on yourself during the process. You don’t have to do everything at once - a little here and there is enough. If you’ve tried it and it’s still not for you, that’s ok also, there are many other ways to the same goal.

Fundamentally, EFT is a way of moving towards our emotions by taking the time to really listen to, experience and acknowledge them. By doing so, we shift them from being trapped in our body to flowing through us in a healthy way that allows us to be present fully in the world.